Ever wonder what you would do in  a certain situation, in your mind you may have reenacted the scene several times and in every scenario you always come out besting that person or exacting the revenge that you long for. What happens when the actual confrontation occurs, well after tonight I can tell you that it did not happen the way you thought it would come out.
I have spent the last 12 months hating someone, not just any someone but a family member. I would sit  and think of the ways I would exact my revenge on him and his family, I can tell you that it went further than thinking, I was fantasizing and daydreaming  my retaliation.
I discovered one day that the revenge and bitterness I was feeling was changing me not just emotionally but physically as well. I decided to turn to the Lord, and as they all will tell you one of the steps in religion is forgiveness. Well I had a problem with forgiveness, why should I forgive someone who was so evil towards me. However in the face of faith I attempted to come to terms with forgiveness, was not easy. It was so difficult I had to dissect the definition of the word, before I could begin to study the actual concept. It was a long period of soul searching and releasing myself of the need to exact revenge. I told myself okay i can forgive , I think I will no longer be angry, vengeful or vindictive.

This where the situation comes back to you, this evening as my husband and I were about to see Person of Interest, the very person that I have killed so many times in my dreams, knocked on my door. I let her in, but I know that I was not being true to myself, I sat down and spoke to her for about three hours, and yes we discussed what she did to me, and yes I am still angry. I am now feeling confused, I told her why I am angry and how I was left to face the consequences as a result of her actions, and even though she apologized I am still angry. So I forgave her I think, all  I am sure is that I am still confused, still angry, and I didn't get to see my television program.